Monday, August 24, 2009

The name plate

You know how you see on houses those cool name plates?

"The So-and-So's
Established 1995"

Well, being that I'm finally buying a house (yes, offer placed, offer accepted, more on that later I promise!) I thought it might be fun to get one of those for my new house.

Problem?

Who am I?

Am I my current last name? Because that was given to me by my soon to be ex. And I'm not entirely sure I want to be that anymore.

Am I my maiden name? Because then I won't have the same last name as G! And my sign will only reflect me, and not HIM, and the house, the HOME is most certainly his too. It's not just me.

Am I someone who has yet to be determined? Because I do plan to be part of a larger group. More kids. Loving doting partner. Maybe a kitten.

Screw it, I think I'll just get one of those signs that says something like "Live Laugh Love" and call it a day. Because really, I'm getting a house and I get to make a home and I don't care what name you put on it, it's going to be full of LOVE and Laughter and I plan to really LIVE there.

Also? House warming party at my new place some time early November! I can't wait to show it off.
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Thursday, August 20, 2009

North on I-79

Tuesday I drove off for another business trip. Up to Cleveland. A portion of my drive was the same drive to would make to and from school while at PSU in Erie. Tuesday's drive was uneventful, and I'll admit the part that should have been familiar wasn't at all.

On my way home though, as I approached I-79 from the other side I thought to myself, "What would I do, if I could hop on 79 from this side, and head back into my college days?"

There were so many choices I made back then, over 1o years ago. What if I made different choices? I started dating and eventually decided to marry my soon to be ex husband there. I lost my connection with a guy friend who I had once thought I would end up with. I choose to switch from an education major to a psych major.

What if I headed back up 79 from this side and made some different choices? Would I still have my G? Would he be the same light of my life? Would be older then 2? Would he still have that determined personality and give the same wonderful hugs? Would he even exist? Would I change those decisions if I knew he wouldn't exist? That's the hardest question to answer. I could answer it either way, and depending on the day be totally confident in my answer.

I didn't head up 79, I drove right past it. Another 2 hours to my house instead 2 hours into my past. When I got home I was greeted by a great big "Mama!" and G took my hand and led me to the toy box to show me the puzzle he put together with Bubba. I shared a piece of pizza with G, and was beyond the moon excited to be back with him.

I'm not going to feel guilty that some days I wish I had taken a different path, even if it would have led me away from my G man. I can't really change my path anyway, and thinking about what if's are fleeting anyway. It was just that sign for 79 that took me back a bit more, for a bit longer than I've let myself go. Blame it on the drive, the long and boring drive.
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