Thursday, August 20, 2009

North on I-79

Tuesday I drove off for another business trip. Up to Cleveland. A portion of my drive was the same drive to would make to and from school while at PSU in Erie. Tuesday's drive was uneventful, and I'll admit the part that should have been familiar wasn't at all.

On my way home though, as I approached I-79 from the other side I thought to myself, "What would I do, if I could hop on 79 from this side, and head back into my college days?"

There were so many choices I made back then, over 1o years ago. What if I made different choices? I started dating and eventually decided to marry my soon to be ex husband there. I lost my connection with a guy friend who I had once thought I would end up with. I choose to switch from an education major to a psych major.

What if I headed back up 79 from this side and made some different choices? Would I still have my G? Would he be the same light of my life? Would be older then 2? Would he still have that determined personality and give the same wonderful hugs? Would he even exist? Would I change those decisions if I knew he wouldn't exist? That's the hardest question to answer. I could answer it either way, and depending on the day be totally confident in my answer.

I didn't head up 79, I drove right past it. Another 2 hours to my house instead 2 hours into my past. When I got home I was greeted by a great big "Mama!" and G took my hand and led me to the toy box to show me the puzzle he put together with Bubba. I shared a piece of pizza with G, and was beyond the moon excited to be back with him.

I'm not going to feel guilty that some days I wish I had taken a different path, even if it would have led me away from my G man. I can't really change my path anyway, and thinking about what if's are fleeting anyway. It was just that sign for 79 that took me back a bit more, for a bit longer than I've let myself go. Blame it on the drive, the long and boring drive.


chasingalittlelion on 7:07 AM said...

That long and boring drive.

Oh that drive. There's a boy I knew who used to take that drive every weekend. Every weekend for a year from Erie to State College and back.

More than once that drive was made to resolve a fight that had begun over the phone. What if one time he'd chosen not to make that drive. To just let it go.

There probably wouldn't be a Peanut.

It's funny what 79 and 80 will do to your brain...

Mrs Zeee on 8:26 AM said...

Wow. I love this post. It have had this same thought many times myself and then I realize that college was 10 years ago and the decisions I made then, are meant to be because they brought me to all of the wonderful things I have now -- including Miss Smiley.
Thanks for visiting my blog today. I will be back to visit!

Aunt Becky on 9:27 PM said...

i've been thinking about that a lot lately, because i wonder how my life would have turned out had i made 1, just 1, different choice. hm. hm. hm.

Momma Sunshine on 4:27 PM said...

I think sometimes we all stop and wonder what life would look like if we'd taken a different path...I know I sure do...


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